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6 Mistakes Every Beginner Surfer Makes

六個初學者常犯的錯誤

Surfing is hard.

Being a snowboarder or skater, you naturally assume you’ll take to it.

It’s just other boardsports, right?

Oh. Hell. No. This is one of (if not, the) hardest sport you will ever learn.

Nothing destroys egos more wonderfully than

two hours on a foamie in the cold North Atlantic.

It has been known to bring fully grown men to their knees,

cursing the day they ever thought about mastering surfing.

It’s like an abusive relationship. The sea will throw you over the falls,

flush your insides out with saltwater, hurl your board in your face. 

Even after months of practice, you’re only slightly less shit than when you started.

However, when you actually catch a wave,

it’s like crack. It’ll keep you coming back for more, time and again.

We were all kooks once. Everyone knows that feeling of awkwardly

getting donked on the head by their own board

or frustratingly being unable to paddle out back.

So, we’ve put together the six mistakes every beginner surfer makes…




衝浪是很困難的

有一些衝浪新手以前可能覺得曾經是玩滑雪板的，有人曾經是玩滑板的

就會想說，不就是換張不一樣板子麻(攤手)



完全不是這回事好嗎? Dude ，這可能是你學習過最難的運動

沒有什麼運動可以在兩個小時內這麼徹底的擊潰你的自信

海洋可能把你丟來丟去

1. How hard can it be?

能有多難?
　

You’ve just booked on to your first lesson.

You envisage yourself tearing up and down waves like

Steph Gilmore or Kelly Slater within a couple of days.

A week tops.

The reality? You’ll spend the first few times in the water just trying to stay upright

on a giant board that looks like a pool toy from Toys R Us,

 riding waves that aren’t even waves and feeling like a goofy twat.






事實上你才幫你訂下了第一課

你覺得你可以把浪壁撕裂

在上面靈活自如就像Steph Gilmore or Kelly Slater

只需要花幾天，最多一個禮拜

事實上你會花很久的時間在海上只是試圖站起來

而且是在巨大的練習板上，看起來就像玩具反斗城可憐的玩具

衝到的浪甚至無法稱做上是浪的白浪花

SO SAD

　

2. Trying to teach yourself to surf on a shortboard

試著想藉由短板來學衝浪

Everyone knows a bloke that has unwittingly tried to learn to surf on a shortboard.

 This is a classic error from dudes that think they’re “too good”

for a foamie and naturally gravitate towards a 5ft 2′ toothpick they picked up off eBay.

Any instructor will (quite rightly) plonk you on an embarrassingly

 fat foamie and tell to ride the white water instead. 

It’s like having a Ferrari dangled in front of you, but you’re

 forced to drive a bright yellow Honda Jazz.

Listen to them, you’ll be kissing their feet later when they’ve

 got you actually catching waves, not pitch-poling nose-first into the sand.


千萬千萬不要這樣做

或許你很有信心，但這絕對是一個典型的新手犯的錯誤，

因為你把你想的比想像中的"強多了"



　

3. Getting out back... and not knowing how to get back in

你終於有辦法到Outside了，但是你知道怎麼回來嗎?

Once you’ve conquered the whitewater,

 you’ll be hankering to get out back. Hell, you thought popping up was hard.

Wait until you’ve got 3 ft wave breaking on your head,

 trying to yank your board from your fingernails –

 or (if you’ve timed it badly) skyrocketing it up to the heavens. Classic kook move.

When you finally make it beyond the breaking waves,

you’ll feel like you’ve discovered Paradise.

 It’s blissfully quiet, free from continuously breaking waves,

screaming children with incontinency

 issues and cackhanded bodyboarders.

Then a set will come through. You’re already knackered

from paddling your

 unfit lump of a body out back. Suddenly,

 the 3ft swell you scoffed at from the shore is coming at you. 

It’s fucking huge. It looks as terrifying as Teahupoo.

 You’ve no clue how to catch it…

Oh, fuck.

Cue one mega trip over the falls.


有一次你會遇到，終於你征服了困難重重的白浪花到Outside了

遠離了喧囂，遠離了吵鬧的小朋友，不用人擠人了

看到外海一片平靜，好不快樂。就像天堂一樣

於是你會開始發現

你要遇到第一波Set來了

對於你現在的能力來說完全無法應付的Set

是一道道牆的感覺，你追浪也不是，因為不是你能應付的

所以你往外海游，發現Set一波比一波大!!

你開始會感到恐懼了，這時候你會發現大自然的威力

希望你先學好怎麼回來








　

4. Dropping in on the locals

突然拜訪LOCAL?簡單來說就是搶浪囉

　

The only thing locals hate more than school holidays is people dropping in on them.

For those of you who aren’t yet educated in the rules of the waves,

dropping in is the cardinal sin of surfing.

 It’s stealing another person’s wave when they’re already on it.

As a beginner, you probably won’t know this. But you’d better learn bloody fast.

 Otherwise you’ll end up like this poor bugger above.

He’s no rookie, but he dropped in an angry Cornish SUPer. The outcome?

“Do it again and I’ll put you in fucking hospital!” Yikes.

N.B. Not all surfers are like this. Just the wankers.




LOCAL討厭的事情除了假日會有一堆人來之外

還有搶浪這一件事情，你最好先學懂衝浪的規則

突然出現在別人的浪面前，正意味著你搶了某人已經波乘的浪

影片中的人搶浪了

 


Local跟他說:如果你再做一次的話，我就會讓你進醫院

雖然說不是所有Local都會這麼兇

但是這一件事情確實是會發生的在某些地區

5. Not wearing a leash

不使用腳繩

As mentioned in the last point,

 school holidays are the worst time to go surfing.

 The shoreline is as chockablock as a Peppa Pig concert with swimmers,

bobbing children and bodyboarders

 – all warmed up to icky bathlike temperatures,

thanks to children’s urine in the vicinity.

As a relative beginner, you may have managed

to paddle off and break free from this revolting rabble. Well done.

But for god’s sake, make sure your leash is securely attached. 

Otherwise when you wipeout,

your surfboard will inevitably act like turbo missile

 and direct itself straight towards

that crowd of blithely innocent children in armbands and

elderly woman in floral swimming hats.





最好是確保你有好好的使用腳繩

因為在人多的時候

若是你歪爆

你的板子就會像火箭一樣射向其他無辜的人

6. Not waxing your board

不在浪板上打蠟

Unless you’ve wisely opted to learn on a foamie

 (you’re one-step ahead of the rest already),

you’ll be riding a hardboard.

These, my friends, need wax.

You wouldn’t believe how often

 I’ve seen people trying to ride boards without wax on them.

The result is not pleasant.

You won’t stand a chance of placing one foot on your board.

Instead you’ll look like be awkwardly

 slipping and sliding all over the place, like drunk seal.


超新手請服用打蠟教學




或許以前你習慣使用軟板，練習板，上面是比較粗的

所以當你轉用硬板的時候你並沒有在上面打蠟的習慣

你不會相信筆者有多常看到人們在板子上面自己歪爆

所以下次下水前記得先好好打蠟

這樣你看起來才不會像喝醉的海豹一樣


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